Bad days? Not so much.

 

My best friend of a million years is a lighting designer. Right now, she happens to be the LD for Styx.

 

Shoot - can't write now. LDI panelist, AZO (?) board expert/ demo-ist vs. electrician for a week down in Biloxi.

Me-me-me vs. you-you-you.

It's been more than three years since I've worked a full 40 hour work week. It's strange.

 

The way it's been since Benjamin  was born is that I've worked part time while D worked full time. It made sense since I'm the one with the boobs. It was hard, at first, working out a schedule that let Benjamin breastfeed when he needed to. Made especially so by the fact that the Big Boss at work didn't care to be flexible with my hours. But the more Benjamin grew up and as we were able to start adding food-food to his diet and not just boob-food, it got a little easier. So, for the first year, we muddled through and by the time birthday No. 1 rolled around, I was able to change my schedule by shifting locations in the company.

 

From year one until just recently, I've still been working part time, more hours than before granted, but switched from days to afternoons/evenings. This meant that poor D had to switch his hours to early mornings. Let me tell you: having his alarm start to go off at 4ish every morning sucked @ss. And if you'll notice, I wrote "start going off" for indeed, he would snooze it til the very last possible second; often times not even hearing its blaring beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep until I reached over to prod him - and even then, sometimes he'd roll over, adjust the covers and STILL not turn the blasted thing off!

 

What? This isn't a rant about alarm clocks and the sleepers who abuse them and their spouse? Shoot. Okay.

 

Where was I? Oh yes... him mornings, me evenings. I was working 27 hours a week starting at 2ish and twice during the work week, going until about 8:45PM. It wasn't too bad. I got to wake up with my pretty, sleepy-faced boy and make sure that, at least until afternoon, got some good food/drink into his growing body. Plus, three out of five nights, I got home between 6:15 and 6:45PM. Not too bad. Plenty of time to plan dinner, even if all that meant was chicken strips from whatever fast food place and some rice and beans. Don't get me wrong: working part time and being a mom the rest of the time is still exhausting. My house it a mess, but that'll pass once the boy is a little older.

 

But here I am, back at the first place I started, working full time AND being management. I get up by 7:30AM, don't get to wake up to smiley boy, don't get to make sure he's eating decently or that he's taken his vitamin, don't get to squeeze in whatever light housework as the boy's attention span will allow... don't even get to nap with him (not that I got to any time in the past year anyway). I have a new appreciation for all the mothers out there who've been doing the full-time outside the house work-work and, of course, all the inside the home work-work.

 

Yeah, I feel more productive and grateful that now D doesn't have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn. Yeah, I still have to do all the stuff that I used to do without the18 extra hours a week that I wasn't full-time outside the home employed. Yeah, I'm slightly concerned that the boy's nutrition will suffer from all the exposure to Daddy's diet.

 

And while there are a lot of "yeah"s, unfortunately, it's time to get ready for work and the first meeting with my employees.

 

I miss waking up with my son. [Is this worth missing that?]